I'm in A Foul Mood.

Yes I am.
Stuff happened this week that I'd rather not disclose, and left me feeling frustrated. What do I do when I'm frustrated? I write, and I paint (and I mean on Photoshop, I suck at real art). And so I ended up with one artwork and one poem. I really only write poetry when I'm so messed up that I want to go banging against walls and tearing up things. So, well, this is one of those times.
And I always end up posting these on the blog too. Today I'm only putting up the poem.
Yes, I think I'm sort of weird some times. This poem is not even a real poem. It lacks the lyrical quality of poetry, it lacks rhythm or rhyme, it lacks the characteristic beauty of good poetry. But before you judge....It's really not a poem at all.
 It's just...an outpouring. 
Sort of like siphoning my emotions right into the paper, holding that paper carefully so it doesn't splash all over.
Honestly. An outpouring.


THE POEM- 


OUTSIDE.



You may say I'm sensitive, that I'm over-reacting
You may say I'm an emotional fool
You may mock me, and tease me, and malice me
This fact remains in shades of black and white: You've done wrong.


I don't know what it is I've done-
Whose mind I have maliced, whose heart blackened.
I don't know why it is that I'm here,
On the outside while you stand in this ring inside,
This ring made of farces and secrets that you so deny,
That you so hide from my eyes, and covertly cherish.


For what?


What purpose serves this infinite game of hide and seek?
What lies beneath this well-tied mask of secrecy?
I look at your faces, and is it mockery I see?
Or the glow of being in on your secret while I'm not?
Or perhaps it is worse- the darkest of them all...


I look in your faces....and is it NOTHING I see?
Is it apathy I see?


You don't even seem to know that I feel alien inside.
Cast-off into a corner, forgotten, not spoken to,
Left to write my feelings so they don't show themselves
Relentlessly left always, always outside.


There's one more poem I wrote, called LINE CROSSING, but I won't be posting that because it has serious language problems. As in, beep beep beep oh man this is not for gentle eyes.
This one though is harmless by comparison.




Comments

  1. Very cool picture, Ani Raye. The poem compliments it really well. Lovely blend of visual and emotion.

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  2. Thanks Cat!
    That was a photomanipulation I did, which I call Drowning in Memory Lane, and I'm glad it does fit both my mood and the poem. Thanks for the comment!

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  3. As far as I'm concerned, poetry is a great medium for outpouring. I do it myself sometimes, with mixed results. It's great therapy, and who knows, maybe one of your poems will touch the right person and end up meaning a lot to more than you ever hoped it would.

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  4. Great poem...hope you feel better soon ;).

    bethfred.com

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  5. I love the poem. Hopefully your mood will pick up soon. I'm a new follower.

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  6. I have given your blog an award! :) Check it out at: http://brittanysfantasy.blogspot.com/2011/02/blog-awards.html
    Thank You!

    ReplyDelete

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